bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
