I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
