so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
