In the future we'll all be gay
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
