He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
