Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
