I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
