Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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