I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
