I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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