i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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