that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
