I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
