Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
