I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
