It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my being single is dangerous.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
