We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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