there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
