You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Two words: blizzard sex
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
