He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
