Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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