i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
