I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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