i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
