A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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