i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
