At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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