he thought i was a dude.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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