Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Tell her she can't have a vagina
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
