Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
