Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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