I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
