She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
