Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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