I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Two words: nipple clamps
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