1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
