my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
