We're facebook friends in real life
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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