he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
