i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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