Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it hurts more in the daytime
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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