i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
