I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
