You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
