i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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