before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
