I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
im on a boat
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