i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
