I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
