You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
