plz talk dirty to me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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