She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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