He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize