Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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