I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
