i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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