he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
